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I often hear people involved in the BDSM community claiming to be open-minded, or at least more open-minded than those not involved. I understand that faced with the negative attitudes towards BDSM that many experience closed-mindedness. But does involvement in a minority group or sexuality automatically make you openly accepting of other people's choices and expression of those choices. Many people claim to be open about BDSM. They think and claim because they are involved in it that they will be more accepting of those that are in it as well. This makes sense. If you are actively involved in BDSM you are hardly likely to say that this lifestyle is wrong and evil. This claim however, is often put to the test when faced with someone whose BDSM kinks involve areas outside of your own personal enjoyment. Toilet play, golden showers and scat, are areas that many involved in BDSM participate in. Personally I find the idea of being involved in such play disgusting and I would not participate. That is my choice, but I do not hold the belief that the play is wrong, or people shouldn't be involved. In itself it is not disgusting, it is just that for me personally that is my reaction to it. But many will respond with horror. They will not accept that someone could be involved in such play. And their previously claimed open-mindedness will evaporate. And personal example of this; I have a foot fetish. I love my feet being worshipped, massaged kissed. It is a big turn on for me. My former submissive found that she enjoyed performing such activities. One day we sat and listened to someone that claimed to be totally accepting of other's kinks rant on about how disgusting people with foot fetishes were, how it was repulsive and sick. Now I have had a lot of experience and am very comfortable with my sexuality. But my submissive was very new to the whole scene and only recently discovered she enjoyed feet. For her it was hard to listen to, she actually began to wonder if she should be doing and enjoying this new found fetish. Often the claim of open-mindedness falls down when you hear them talk about other lifestyle and sexuality choices. When I hear people speak of those in the non bdsm sexuality as boring, stupid, cowardly, I have to wonder were the acceptance went. Saying your choice is superior, that people that do not follow it are inferior, is not a sign of open-mindedness. It is yet another form of bigotry. Being accepting of other people's choices does not mean you have to want them for yourself, it doesn't mean that their choices are right. All it means is you accept a person's right to choose what works for them, and support them in that choice. Too often we judge people by imposing our standards and desires onto them. I can not say I am totally open-minded. There are some choices I have problems with. But I am trying to learn to accept they have the right to choose. After all, their kink doesn't have to be my kink.